When it comes to dating, it helps to remember one simple rule: The way to a man, woman, dog, or any living creature’s heart is through its stomach. If you’re looking to impress a special girl or guy with your culinary skills, but you don’t know sugar from salt, we’re here to help. For all you lovebirds, here are ten ways to trick your date into thinking you’re a Michelin star-winning master chef.
1. To Serve on the Side
Show your date that you are spontaneous and adventurous with this bold meal-plating trick. In the world of gourmet cuisine, the plate’s centre is the new equivalent of the lava floor. In other words, avoid it at all costs. For instant Michelin stars, push the food to the side of the plate. Your date will wonder where you learnt such refined skills while you wonder how they don’t realise that you’ve burnt every potato.
2. Flower Power
Men, when in doubt, you can never go wrong with giving a girl flowers. For your next date night, bypass the bouquet and present them on a plate. With a few violets here and some rose petals there, you can transform your bland, downright messy meal into a delicate, Insta-worthy floral garden! We guarantee she’ll have you mistaken for a master chef in no time.
3. Master Sprinkler
If you’ve ever had the pleasure of eating fairy bread then you can appreciate the magic of sprinkles. Now, with the recent introduction of the seductive Turkish chef, ‘Salt Bae’, the sprinkling craze has reached all new heights. So lovebirds, swap your rainbow sprinkles and party hats for some rock salt and a pout. The higher you sprinkle that salt, the better. For best results, stand on the table and watch the tears flow as it dramatically hits your date’s plate (and eyes)!
4. Get Creative
Take your culinary skills to the next level by transforming your dish into a work of art. To instantly upgrade your meal’s aesthetics, simply splash on some colour. Literally, splash it on the plate. If Jackson Pollock’s splashed paintings can make millions, then this trick can get you a second date! Line up some beetroot, sprinkle on a few green leaves, then splash on some blue-dyed lemon juice. Add a splash of tomato sauce plus a splash of green Tabasco and you have yourself a masterpiece.
5. Cooking Magic AKA Distraction
A magician never reveals their secrets, but we’re about to share one trick that is guaranteed to win hearts. If you don’t succeed the first time in the kitchen, don’t try again. Instead, transform your ordinary dish into the extraordinary with a little sleight of hand! All you need for this magic is your local takeaway shop on speed dial. While you make the order, create a heart-stopping distraction by setting alight your failed dish. Finally, wait for your date’s applause as the ‘same’ dish reappears at your front door in a prepackaged, takeaway box. Magical.
6. Fake It Til You Make It
In prehistoric times, men and women would take their dates to dinner at a restaurant. Now, in the 21st century, technology has allowed us to evolve and move on from this medieval practice. All that’s required for a romantic meal is an un-cracked smartphone and Uber Eats. As your date arrives, throw your recently delivered food into the frying pan and give it a stir to convince them that you cooked it. For salads, add a little extra lettuce to really make it your own, then sprinkle on that salt like the master chef/salt bae that you are.
7. Mum’s Special
Living at home while dating can be tough. Make the most out of your rent-free, stay at home life with a little help from mum in the kitchen. When the doorbell rings, ensure she’s hidden! No one can argue that a mother’s bolognese/Sunday roast/stir-fried vegetables aren’t the best they’ve ever tasted. If your date claims otherwise, then it’s time to bid farewell.
8. The Reality Check
If all else fails and your dream guy or girl doesn’t see your true culinary talent, ditch the date. You’re destined for greater things and it’s time to put your skills up to a real test. Pack your medicine dropper and your flowers and get yourself to the next Masterchef auditions. Who needs a real relationship anyway when you can have reality television?
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